OFF WITH HER HEAD

…then cheer as she falls?

But wait!…Hold on….she rises again. Oh this is exciting! Can she sustain this new success? Do we even want her to? Or is it more fun to hope she fails? UGH it’s so hard! Never mind what she wants  - what do we want?

I just finished reading Jessica Bennett’s excellent article in Elle on Sophia Amoruso, former CEO and leader of the Girlboss world movement - who hates that title. Do not call her Girlboss, do not approach and sing “HEY THERE GIRRRLLLBOSSS” because she does not want it. But in her defense, when she coined that term ten years ago there weren’t that many women who were bosses. Has there been improvement? Sure, but not nearly enough.

When I think how people talk about the success and then fall of wildly successful women it reminds me of childhood games amongst girls that sound a little something like this:

Young group of girls approach another girl:

“LINDA. JACOB SAID HE LIKES YOU BUT YOUR FOREHEAD REMINDS HIM OF MEGAMIND”

Girl no longer can even concentrate on that fact that her crush likes her but that everyone who has ever existed on planet earth thinks she has a giant forehead. She’s so distraught that she doesn’t notice the other girls closely examining her face to see how she’s digesting this new confusing information. Because how she bounces back will help them navigate the inevitable territory that they too will find themselves in - someone delivering crushing information.

Is it a childhood game that we’ve just never let go of or is watching women fall a fun kind of sport? 

I’ve been working as a TV director for a number of years now and I recently had a meeting with a producer who said I would feel the effects of the “me too backlash”. He joked that women “had their 6 years or so” as he stabbed his steak salad, still so rare that the blood started to turn the wilting lettuce a shade of pink. He then went on to describe in detail how I should be starting my own production company and here’s exactly how to get the money to do that. He was actually trying to give me good advice while also letting me know that despite the ground that has been gained over the last 10 years for women in film and tv there would be inevitable bloodshed, like, now-ish. I should have been paying more attention to his how to be a boss advice instead of thinking an aging man shoving a fork full of blood-soaked lettuce into his mouth would make a great piece of art.

I  am a writer so I immediately went and wrote this all down. Good or bad advice is also content.

Like the girls in the playground stirring up drama and watching how it lands (sorry, but this does happen whether you want to believe it or not) I feel myself watching the business of being a woman in a little the same way. Has it changed? It’s no wonder why I joined a comedy troupe with four other women in the early aughts. We desperately needed to make fun of how others saw us and how we saw ourselves. IT WAS SURVIVAL.

Right at this moment Monica Lewinsky is having a renaissance as a model and my God she looks incredible:

image credit: reformation

Maybe Sophia cringes every time someone says Girlboss but Monica has had to carry an entire different mantel that we’ve had to pleasure to watch her burn to the ground over and over again as a writer, activist, public speaker and now hot-as-shit model. 

Elon Musk and Bill Clinton can shoot rockets into space, write bestselling books and utterly destroy a super fun platform that we all loved and continue to receive accolades but women in a similar position, or anywhere near that position have constant shots fired at them by an age old story - Just ONE mistake ladies and we will talk about it FOREVER! Let’s all get cozy around the burning hot fire with a toasty mug of her blood and never stop talking about the thing (I see the irony how I’m talking about it right now and admitting I am part of the problem). 

Maybe we ladies are just addicted to our stories? And so, what if we are? Dammit maybe that’s just us. It’s not a bad thing that you might have looked at Monica’s pictures and immediately wondered what she’s doing to look so damn good (No really what is it? Is it letting go because I’ll never learn how to do that).

Here’s the upside: We also love to see one another succeed. Like Arlan Hamilton who thinks you should be a millionaire (She’s also incredibly funny). Please watch her IG video about how Adam Neumann, despite blowing up We Work, is now receiving millions in investments for his next brainchild (watch her whole post). Pssssttt - Can women get a chance to fail up as well? That would be great. THANKS!

This space is going to be FUN!* 

So hi! Here’s my substack. Am I going to be bitching about the injustices in the world? Sometimes. Will I cover every single topic so that every person reading this will feel like my musings will be fair and balanced and exactly what they think? Not a chance. I’ll also be using this platform to talk about books I’m devouring, people I can’t get enough of and my obsession with Ian Garten’s husband Jeffrey. 

Come along on this journey with me. If for nothing else then to learn that Jeffrey’s cocktail of choice with Ina is this and who doesn’t need this fried chicken sandwich after reading the news?

xoAllana

*If you subscribe, these posts will go directly into your inbox. Thinks of it as a big hug from me.